Struggles

Okay, it's been awhile since I have last posted and no excuses as to why besides I've been having a hard time questioning myself and trying to figure out myself. I've had soooo many mixed emotions of all that's happened around me. It's nothing me or my family but it's the people around me that I have grown to love and adore. Our dear friends The Palmer family lost there amazing son on his mission to a brain thing. The neighbor up the street comes out with a drug addiction, leaves for a month to go get help, comes back and then gets into a major accident of choices she has made. Here says have said it was her fault. Matt who was doing what is right by severing The Lord dies and she is saved. I can't help but question, however that's said the Palmers have beyond The Faith to know that's where Matt wanted to be and needs to be to continue. Kevin and Rowena are dear to me and I love them and soooo admire them. Just an example they seeked out other missionaries who is going to the same mission as Matt did and went to there homes, shared there story with them and took them some Madagascar money. They even went to there fair wells, what a true example of unselfishness. As for me how do I become more like them???? I'm pleading with Heavenly Father please help me to not have a heavy heart, not judge, not stress and worry and truly let go of the negative and the whys. I'm in need of fixing myself. I'm in need of finding the happy, positive, faith, unselfish person. More importantly remembering each and everyday the blessings I have and this Gospel